Peace, Understanding, Strength, and Weakness
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maui. photo credit to my girls
Peace, Understanding, Strength, and Weakness
Peace
I have experienced the peace of God that passes understanding. It is because of that peace that I am walking bolder in my faith. As I seek God, I understand who God is and thus my purpose in life. Over the past few weeks, I have experienced disruptions in that peace. I have been seeking God for clarity. This week, I had a couple of meetings centered on prayer and praise, and I was able to gain further clarification. I am grateful to God's people in my life to pray with me through complex problems.
In the Fall of 2019, I was just beginning to apply urgency and intention to my spiritual life. I put writing my book on hold. God placed it on my heart that it was not His timing. There is so much irony in postponing a book on urgency and intention, but I listened. I was heading into 2020, open to the possibilities.
In my February 2020 blog post, Clarifying Motives, I began sharing even more about my faith journey. That same month I had signed up for a small group at my home church, NCC, called Praying with Power, but I had not started participating. I had begun reading The Circle Maker by Pastor Mark Batterson. I was emboldened to partner with God to liver bolder and dream bigger.
Later that same month, when my mother fell ill suddenly, I knew she/I/we needed prayer. I became acutely aware that I did not know which of my friends prayed to God in Jesus’ name. On March 4th, I sent out a blog, In the Midst of Fire, asking for prayer for my mother and my family.
Understanding
When my mom passed and I stepped into her shoes to raise my niece and nephew, I had questions. While I am convinced that God has placed my niece and nephew into my care, I did not see myself as the ideal candidate on paper. Still, I knew God would provide, and I continue to cling to His promises. When my eyes are on God, I have peace.
Lately, my peace has been stirred. I do not have a name for it. If I had a name for it, I would call it out and find a promise to speak to it. And there you have it -- I am wrestling with my own understanding.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
If not disciplined in my thoughts or words, it is easy to feel put out by these custody hearings. If I volunteered for this role and feel called by God to do it, why do I have to deal with this? If not disciplined with my thoughts and words, I can feel like I am unnecessarily hemorrhaging money with legal expenses, emotional energy, and my time.
Strength/Power
If I believe that this is God’s will, I have had to take captive of my words and thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5) and say, I trust you God that you are working all things together for good (Romans 8:28). I walk by faith and not by Sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)
“The joy of the Lord is my strength. ”
“I can do al things through Christ who strengthens me.”
“But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth. ”
“For the eyes of the Lord range through the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him”
So any time I think that I am not strong enough,
I remember I do not have to be.
Weakness
“But he answered me, “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness. “ So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I ‘m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me. So I’m not defeated by my weakness, but delighted! For when I feel my weakness and endure mistreatment- when I’m surrounded with troubles on every side and face persecution because of my love for Christ- I am made yet stronger. For my weakness becomes a portal to God’s power”
The last post I wrote was nearly two years ago. I have been grieving, slaying giants, raising champions, and growing in faith.